Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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