I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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