Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize