you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
