Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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