I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
