lets start a swedish sibling band together
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
