you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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