hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
