would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
