Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
