yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
