I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
