I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
