woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
