someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
