I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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