I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
