Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
