marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
