Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
