Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
