google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize