I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
