No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
