Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
