i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
