No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
