Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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