Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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