Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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