I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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