Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
