goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
