i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
