Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it glows. i had to have it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
