fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
