She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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