:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Rumble strips road head = magical
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
