Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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