Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
