Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
