I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
