He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
