We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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