You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
