i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
