I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
