You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize