i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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