he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
