I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
