i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
