hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
