You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
