I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
