whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
