he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
