Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
