Say something about gay babies.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
