I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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