is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
