Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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