i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
