i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
