Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
