I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize