'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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