FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
