my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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