Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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