Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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